The B Team Standard

Caregiving Idea #10: Giving Time

If you are entering this series late, welcome! Click here for background information.

The last post was about filling time for people who might be lonely, or have long days. But there are other friends that are frantically in need of more time. Well, we can’t give them time of course — but we can try to find ways to alleviate some of their to-do list so they have more free time.

During the covid lockdowns we, like many other families with young kids, struggled. Trying to keep up with two jobs while facilitating virtual school was not easy. And there was no break — no respite. Many people said to me, “I wish there was a way for me to help.” And to be honest, I desperately needed help.

Now that that particular crisis is behind us, I keep thinking — what is a way you can give time to someone you love?

If you want to do some caregiving for someone with kids, that’s a great way to intervene. I don’t recommend asking “do you want me to watch your kids?” Instead say something like, “I’d love to spend time with your kids and get to know them better. Can you help me find a time and a place that works for your family?” Take them to the playground for an hour, or bring a craft over to their home. If they’re living far away, have some games planned or read them books over the computer. For Idea #1 I suggested that we not ask — we just do; I make the same suggestion here.

Other ways to free up a friend’s time? Earlier posts have lots of ideas: take them a meal (or a series of meals) to free up their time; take care of their yard work for a few weeks; do some of their cognitive labor.

I think it is essential that we talk to all kids about caregiving and unpaid labor. Make sure kids “see” the work that has to be done to keep a home going, and everyone healthy. If you ask them to pitch in when they’re young, and do for others now, they’ll likely be more comfortable in a caregiving role as an adult.

Click here for Idea #11: Brag on their Behalf